Or you never knew it

"Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name."

Milton Berle

The Purity of the Pig

"These are bagpipes. I understand the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant, asthmatic pig under his arm. Unfortunately, the man-made sound never equalled the purity the sound achieved by the pig."

Alfred Hitchcock

Chin up lad

"Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day,
Fritter and waste the hours in an off-hand way.
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town,
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way.
Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain,
You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today.
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you,
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun.
And you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking,
Racing around to come up behind you again.
The sun is the same in a relative way, but you're older,
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death.
Every year is getting shorter, never seem to find the time,
Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines.
Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way,
The time is gone, the song is over, thought I'd something more to say."

Pink Floyd

Must be for the gossip....

"After all, what is your hosts' purpose in having a party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they'd have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi."

P. J. O'Rourke